To Top

Mistress Pens Open Letter to Help Married Women



Quick Note from Ree, “The (Ree)lationship Guide”: Yesterday I received an anonymous message from a woman who claims to be the mistress of a popular surgeon in Chicago. She asked that we publish her open letter as a means of providing wives insight into their relationship with their husband.

The contents of this letter reflect the views of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of writers at If you are interested in sending us a message regarding love and relationships, click here. We’ll keep you anonymous per your request. 

I’m what most women refer to as a side woman, a home wrecker, a whοre, etc.  But I like to think of myself as a bandaid for relationships. Wherever your husband is injured, I’m a temporary patch to help heal his wounds. I’ve been seeing my “Big Bear” for 7 yrs now. He’s a successful surgeon who has been married for 11 years. He and his wife share a beautiful penthouse suite on Chicago’s famous Lake Shore Drive. They have two children in elementary school and a live-in nanny. Big Bear purchased a condo for me less than 2 miles his home.

I never envisioned myself being “the other woman,” especially for this long, but I’ve always had the gift of turning lemons into lemonade. With that being said, I figured I could be of some assistance to married women around the world who want to understand what drives their husband to cheat. Believe it or not, the core of the issue extends beyond sεx. Men want their wives to be a mother, a girlfriend, and a therapist. By mother I don’t mean a scolding, nagging, prying mom. I mean a nurturer, a cheerleader, a woman who has unwavering faith in him. And by girlfriend I simply mean the woman he fell in love with. Societal pressures of how a wife “should be” are distractions. Be the woman you were before the wedding bells. He fell in love with her. Lastly, being your husband’s therapist means actively listening to him. Not the kind of listening you do when he has said something that píssed you off and you turned off your ears as he continued to talk because you were thinking of a rebuttal. Therapists are objective and have no real benefit either way their client goes. Be your husband’s therapist.

Big Bear’s wife is an exceptional mother to their children but she is a terrible mother, girlfriend, and therapist for her husband. Believe it or not, most of our time spent together is non-sεxual. We spend evenings basking in jazz music over a glass of wine and discussing current news. It’s a very simple relationship, if you will. Although I treasure every second I spend with Big Bear, I know that I am only a temporary fix for him until the woman he married makes a decision to change. When he leaves me to tend to his marriage, I’m sure I’ll run across yet another injured man who needs a temporary fix. It’s not a favorable life to most people, but it works for me. The best way to make women like me disappear is to take my advice. One more thing: The advice provided is assuming your husband married you because he actually loves you. It’s important to know the reason(s) why he chose to marry you!

Get this story and more dating and relationship news sent directly to your inbox! Click Here to subscribe to our free newsletter.

Loading Disqus Comments ...

More in Dating Daily